This Basket Case will go out on a limb this Saturday morn’….The simple answer as to why Don has no friends may be that he’s a loner. Ain’t a thing wrong with that! But this is Mad Men, where nothing’s ever that simplistic.
Well, also, if Don had friends, they might, er, get to *know* him, and find out he is actually Dick. Or a dick! (Actually, I like Don. I think it is a credit to Jon Hamm’s performance, that in spite of Don/Dick’s caddishness, one still wants him to be happy.)
There’s someone I know in business that is exactly like Don Draper, personality-wise.
He’s funny, charming, always has the right response/comeback. Makes a great first impression in all occasions. But everything is about a half-inch deep. There’s no substance, no background knowledge.
He’s older than I am and I can tell that he’s learned how to be very good at keeping everything at a surface-level, and then flees (literally and figuratively) when it goes too deep, too real.
He was raised to believe he was unworthy of the company he kept. There is no doubt in my mind that his neighbors and schoolmates called him “whore-son” just as his family did.
Friendship is a learned behavior. Don didn’t learn. And any offers of friendship cannot be trusted, because sooner or later, Don is a whore-son.
I tend to think it’s because he’s living a lie, but — then again — if he can be married and tell his wife nothing about his childhood, why not a few buddies?
I’m not sure Don likes men. I think he likes, or at least craves the company of women even though he doesn’t really know them. Maybe he’s a good ad man, because he’s distant enough to observe other men, but he doesn’t understand women — maybe he’s too close? Dare I say mommy issues?
This is what always bugged me about the “whore-child” thing….If Don’s Ma was a ho’, she had several clients, so how was Archie singled out as the baby daddy?
In any case, I’m not so sure if other men would want Don as a friend. While Roger used him as bait because Don’s so handsome, some men may not want a guy that attractive around their wives. Some fellas are just that insecure….
I agree about the living a lie, glass, and that is a really interesting thought about him not liking men. I think he understands women about as well as any man does; he came up with the Right Guard line… What do women want? Any excuse to get closer. He just doesn’t apply it well to his women (seriously? a watch for Betty? when all she’d like is for him to like, talk to her about himself.) But I think he does understand men, and to the degree that he does, you may be right, he doesn’t much like what he sees.
And Kay, I’ve wondered about the baby daddy thing as well. All I can figure is, he was a bit of a regular, and she knew that it was his child. She either confided in someone (madam, pimp, girlfriend) and/or she let him know from the beginning.
You don’t think it might not be a cultural thing for the time as well? Often men die shortly after their wives do (if their wives go first) b/c their wives were in charge of all the social aspects of their lives. All of the couples’ friends were her friends not his. I’m sure it’s exacerbated by the fact that he’s living a lie and doesn’t really want to confide in anyone but I’m sure it also has something to do with the cultural thing. Think about it Pete doesn’t really have any friends either. And neither does Roger.
Pete hangs out with the other guys — at least there was a bachelor party.
I think Don’s lack of friends is relevant, because he’s the lead, but with the rest of the characters it could be a matter of limited screen time.
Joan is a more sympathetic character because of her friendship with Carol. Without it she’d be easy to be mistaken for a first class bitch. When Peggy realizes Joan is trying to be helpful in her way it’s easier to believe because she’s loyal to her friend from college.
I agree with Glass Darkly. Pete mainly doesn’t hang around with the other guys these days because he’s married, and has a bunch of social obligations with his in-laws; dinner at the Waldorf and stuff like that.
Pete and Harry are friends. Early on, I can’t recall which episode, Paul asks Don, are we still on for lunch? (The answer was no.) So they could kinda be buds-ish, but also, Paul is Don’s report and it could be a mentor type thing.
Nope. Don has no friends. I agree with Deb that Roger doesn’t count; it’s a screen-time thing. Also, Roger’s a bit of a dick who gets drunk and hits on wives. Roger might not have any friends left who don’t work for him.
I think Don and Roger are definitely friends. Yes, there is competition between the two men, and both can be somewhat of a dick to each other, and yet when Roger has his first (and second) heart attack, Don is moved by what he sees. A part of that is seeing Roger’s family coming together, but I also think he genuinely cares for Roger (he does visit him in the hospital, where everyone else from the office is noticeably absent ((except for Pete…weird)).
Don has no friends. Roger is not a friend. Roger is a professional acquaintance and a “frenemy,” as we in the advertising business say — a guy you kinda like and respect, but is also a bit of an adversary. Certainly no friend. When Don wants to fire Pete, Roger won’t let him. Don folds. Don can’t have real friends, because Don isn’t real. He’s a creation of Dick Whitman. Your friends know who you are and stick by you. Dick couldn’t even stick by who he really was….how could he stick by anybody else? Betty is the perfect, tragic example.
June 28, 2008 at 9:55 am
This Basket Case will go out on a limb this Saturday morn’….The simple answer as to why Don has no friends may be that he’s a loner. Ain’t a thing wrong with that! But this is Mad Men, where nothing’s ever that simplistic.
June 28, 2008 at 10:27 am
Well, also, if Don had friends, they might, er, get to *know* him, and find out he is actually Dick. Or a dick! (Actually, I like Don. I think it is a credit to Jon Hamm’s performance, that in spite of Don/Dick’s caddishness, one still wants him to be happy.)
June 28, 2008 at 10:51 am
There’s someone I know in business that is exactly like Don Draper, personality-wise.
He’s funny, charming, always has the right response/comeback. Makes a great first impression in all occasions. But everything is about a half-inch deep. There’s no substance, no background knowledge.
He’s older than I am and I can tell that he’s learned how to be very good at keeping everything at a surface-level, and then flees (literally and figuratively) when it goes too deep, too real.
He also has no friends.
June 28, 2008 at 10:54 am
Don has no friends because he’s a whore-son.
He was raised to believe he was unworthy of the company he kept. There is no doubt in my mind that his neighbors and schoolmates called him “whore-son” just as his family did.
Friendship is a learned behavior. Don didn’t learn. And any offers of friendship cannot be trusted, because sooner or later, Don is a whore-son.
June 28, 2008 at 10:58 am
There is no doubt in my mind that his neighbors and schoolmates called him “whore-son” just as his family did.
No doubt, because he assumed the hobo knew. Because everyone knows.
June 28, 2008 at 11:38 am
I tend to think it’s because he’s living a lie, but — then again — if he can be married and tell his wife nothing about his childhood, why not a few buddies?
I’m not sure Don likes men. I think he likes, or at least craves the company of women even though he doesn’t really know them. Maybe he’s a good ad man, because he’s distant enough to observe other men, but he doesn’t understand women — maybe he’s too close? Dare I say mommy issues?
June 28, 2008 at 12:29 pm
This is what always bugged me about the “whore-child” thing….If Don’s Ma was a ho’, she had several clients, so how was Archie singled out as the baby daddy?
In any case, I’m not so sure if other men would want Don as a friend. While Roger used him as bait because Don’s so handsome, some men may not want a guy that attractive around their wives. Some fellas are just that insecure….
I’m really bad at analyzing Mad Men….LOL!
June 28, 2008 at 12:46 pm
I agree about the living a lie, glass, and that is a really interesting thought about him not liking men. I think he understands women about as well as any man does; he came up with the Right Guard line… What do women want? Any excuse to get closer. He just doesn’t apply it well to his women (seriously? a watch for Betty? when all she’d like is for him to like, talk to her about himself.) But I think he does understand men, and to the degree that he does, you may be right, he doesn’t much like what he sees.
And Kay, I’ve wondered about the baby daddy thing as well. All I can figure is, he was a bit of a regular, and she knew that it was his child. She either confided in someone (madam, pimp, girlfriend) and/or she let him know from the beginning.
June 28, 2008 at 2:41 pm
You don’t think it might not be a cultural thing for the time as well? Often men die shortly after their wives do (if their wives go first) b/c their wives were in charge of all the social aspects of their lives. All of the couples’ friends were her friends not his. I’m sure it’s exacerbated by the fact that he’s living a lie and doesn’t really want to confide in anyone but I’m sure it also has something to do with the cultural thing. Think about it Pete doesn’t really have any friends either. And neither does Roger.
June 28, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Pete hangs out with the other guys — at least there was a bachelor party.
I think Don’s lack of friends is relevant, because he’s the lead, but with the rest of the characters it could be a matter of limited screen time.
Joan is a more sympathetic character because of her friendship with Carol. Without it she’d be easy to be mistaken for a first class bitch. When Peggy realizes Joan is trying to be helpful in her way it’s easier to believe because she’s loyal to her friend from college.
June 28, 2008 at 3:32 pm
I agree with Glass Darkly. Pete mainly doesn’t hang around with the other guys these days because he’s married, and has a bunch of social obligations with his in-laws; dinner at the Waldorf and stuff like that.
June 28, 2008 at 10:40 pm
He doesn’t want to understand what Betty needs because he can’t provide it. A watch is a substitute. He totally knows that.
Her regular, and maybe in a small town, not that many clients. Maybe not that many white clients. Maybe he paid extra for no condoms.
June 29, 2008 at 12:19 am
Pete and Harry are friends. Early on, I can’t recall which episode, Paul asks Don, are we still on for lunch? (The answer was no.) So they could kinda be buds-ish, but also, Paul is Don’s report and it could be a mentor type thing.
Nope. Don has no friends. I agree with Deb that Roger doesn’t count; it’s a screen-time thing. Also, Roger’s a bit of a dick who gets drunk and hits on wives. Roger might not have any friends left who don’t work for him.
June 29, 2008 at 1:28 am
I think Don and Roger are definitely friends. Yes, there is competition between the two men, and both can be somewhat of a dick to each other, and yet when Roger has his first (and second) heart attack, Don is moved by what he sees. A part of that is seeing Roger’s family coming together, but I also think he genuinely cares for Roger (he does visit him in the hospital, where everyone else from the office is noticeably absent ((except for Pete…weird)).
July 4, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Don has no friends. Roger is not a friend. Roger is a professional acquaintance and a “frenemy,” as we in the advertising business say — a guy you kinda like and respect, but is also a bit of an adversary. Certainly no friend. When Don wants to fire Pete, Roger won’t let him. Don folds. Don can’t have real friends, because Don isn’t real. He’s a creation of Dick Whitman. Your friends know who you are and stick by you. Dick couldn’t even stick by who he really was….how could he stick by anybody else? Betty is the perfect, tragic example.