April 25, 2008
Helen? JEALOUS? I think not.
Posted by Roberta Lipp under Actor Talk, Character Talk, Season 1 Episodes | Tags: Betty Draper, Clutter family, Darby Stanchfield, denial, Divorcee, Don Draper, Dr. Wayne, Glen Bishop, In Cold Blood, Kennedy, New Amsterdam, Polly, Sally Draper |A few thoughts about Helen Bishop in New Amsterdam.
She and Betty get pretty up close and personal, (though it pales in comparison with Glen Bishop’s version of up close and personal. But enough about that). With Helen and Betty you certainly never feel that they connect. Betty hears a lot about a marriage gone bad. It is probably the first time she’s ever heard these kinds of details from a divorcée.
Later in the episode, Betty tells Dr. Wayne, (aka “Mr. Personality”) that Helen is likely jealous of her.
Wait. Seriously? Umm… didn’t Helen witness Don walking out on Betty at Sally’s birthday party a few weeks earlier? More than witness it; she was part of the rescue committee, what with her Sara Lee cake.
There is this one moment I love; Don comes home late, sees Betty and Helen sitting on the couch, gives a very brief and polite hello and then slinks up the stairs. I found it hilarious. So much unspoken from Don—What the hell could they possibly be talking about? Damn, she’s my type. Wow, she knows I ran out on my kid’s birthday party. I am SO not allowed to talk to that woman.
And somehow I felt like Helen got all that subtext, and was unphased. Helen is a bit like Joan in her understanding of men and their responses to women.
Also, both Helen and Dan, the ex-husband, address Betty’s denial with complete directness. I thought it was reeeally interesting.
He (Dan) is yelling for Helen to open the door excuse me miss, I know you can hear me. Miss?
1) Betty is walking Polly and sees Dan trying to get into Helen’s house, yelling and stuff. He spots Betty. Excuse me, Miss. Betty ignores him. I know you can hear me. Miss?
2) Helen comes to the Drapers’ later that evening. She offers up to Betty, I’m really sorry. I’m so embarrassed. Betty says, I don’t know what you’re talking about. And Helen… Yes you do. I was at that window. Helen’s tone is almost one of talking to a child. Like, Don’t give me that bullshit, I KNOW how many cookies there were in that jar.
I found the honesty (Dan’s and Helen’s) in those moments surprising and refreshing.
But then later, Betty had an honest moment that hit me almost the same way. Helen is asking her to babysit. She is due at Kennedy headquarters and I hate to back out because well, you know, New York state is so important.
To which Betty replies, I didn’t know that.
I love that.
Regarding the notion of not letting strange men into your home, I took a quick refresher peek at the Clutter family mass murder. Changed the United States, got everyone locking their doors.
But it was new, and not absolute. In an interview with Darby Stanchfield, who portrays Helen, she talks about the innocence of the times:
The thing that really struck me last season is that nobody locked their door in those days. If they locked their car keys in the car, you could just call on your neighbor. …I don’t even know Betty that well, I call her up and see if she’ll babysit. There was such an open and trusting environment, like there were fewer risks and less danger in terms of raising children.
April 25, 2008 at 12:41 pm
A+, Roberta - great insight.
I never connected Helen and Dan in regards to their honesty. Great point - that’s no accident.
Helen is ABSOLUTELY the embodiment of everything Betty fears. She’s the three-dimensional answer to the question: “What happens when you look up and your life’s not perfect?”
Betty spends all her time avoiding that question, let alone dealing with the answer. And Helen, who suffers no fools, has learned, for better or worse, how to confront issues without blinking.
Betty’s mother taught her to cover up, be a wife and mother and avoid unpleasantness. As a result, she’s ill-equipt to deal with life outside those parameters.
April 25, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Betty needs Helen be be jealous, because you can’t have the person you pity pity you — it kinda calls your choices into question.
April 25, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Glass, no question. I could write a whole other thing on Betty’s reaction to Helen; that line about when the person who’s supposed to be taking care of you isn’t or whatever that line is; she is talking about Glen but project your issues much?
April 25, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I agree with what everyone has said. With Helen, her honesty is so refreshing–especially in the sea of denial that is MM. It’s almost like she’s relieved to be beyond the ruses that plague these people, although I also sense her weariness at having to put up with it all.
April 25, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Helen (and Rachel) were so straight up and honest. Helen’s reaction to creepy Carlton at Sally’s birthday soiree cracked me up! She knew he was predatory and called him on his bull—-! JMHO, Helen was a fabulous character!
April 25, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Although, Helen didn’t confront Betty with the Glen issue. She tried to ignore Betty, and only confronted her when Betty insisted on a conversation. Helen is also capable of denial and/or avoidance.
This is me taking things for a weird different place, but I was watching Dr. Phil yesterday and the topic was confronting a man who molesting his daughter and grandson. (I didn’t see the whole thing.) Dr. Phil was somewhat accusatory toward the mother, asking her why she didn’t help her daughter, and the mother said she was paralyzed. He then pulled out a quote from her that indicated one of the reasons the mother allowed herself to be in denial was that she didn’t want to give up the security of a house and a marriage.
Apparently the mother only witnessed one incident, and was able to put it out of her mind and live with the guy. It seems like it would take a boatload of denial to make it all work. And a huge feeling of powerlessness.
The daughter seemed to hate to see her mother in pain, and mumbled that it was okay.
A lot of the MM women, while not condoning child abuse, are in the same place. Deny, avoid, deny, a little passive-aggressiveness, deny, avoid… Helen felt Betty was inappropriate in some way, but just didn’t want the conversation. A lot of these women go through all kinds of mental gymnastics to accept obvious signs of infidelity.
These women don’t want to give up security, but are living a high wire act. Helen has let a lot of the pretense go, but isn’t immune to occasionally avoiding unpleasantness. She still has to live in the same neighborhood with these people.
April 25, 2008 at 2:57 pm
She’s also taking responsibility for her life. She decided to confront the dreaded truth that her husband was cheating on her and decided to divorce him, even if it meant that she had to take a pathetic job and raise the children on her own. And the thing about her frankness is that she’s utterly unashamed. She’s not taking on her husband’s infidelity as HER failing. That’s on HIM. And the thing about not letting her ex-husband in also shows that she doesn’t care if he raises a ruckus. Her hubs can’t hold the threat of “what will the neighbors think” over her head.
April 25, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Excellent points, Glass. That is so true about abuse and how it takes the complicity of a whole family for it to occur. I call it corrupt loyalty. Or the “he might be a bastard but he’s our bastard” syndrome. And very often they end up blaming the victim for being willing to address what no one wants to see. Betty and Francine are condoning abuse, they’re condoning THEIR own abuse. Even if their husbands aren’t beating them, they’re treating them like crap.
April 25, 2008 at 3:16 pm
I don’t know. About the rest of them, sure, but Helen’s reaction to Betty did not strike me as off the wall. Helen (and Dan, unified) determined that this behavior was inappropriate and creepy. But not necessarily dangerous. Had it been a man doing something more blatant, then yes, a confrontation. But socially, how terrifically awkward to confront Betty, and to what end? Best we just keep our child safely away from her. I don’t think, with the information they had then, it was really a bad call.
April 25, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I didn’t see Helen as avoiding Betty because she was in denial. It just seemed like Helen didn’t want to initially discuss what she saw as Betty’s inappropriate behavior towards Glen, in the middle of a grocery store. But when Betty pushed the issue, Helen was like “WTH? She acted oddly towards my child….”
Also, Betty’s slap may have been a reaction to Helen, this jealous, divorced skank (in Betty’s view), confronting her over less than perfect behavior. How dare this Scarlet Woman like Helen say something to peel away Betty’s perfect facade?
April 25, 2008 at 5:23 pm
I wrote about the slap before, and it still feels right. Betty was enraged and wasn’t allowed to express her rage. Because Helen is “other” (divorced), Betty and Francine feel comfortable projecting all their anger and unhappiness about their lives, their marriages, their sexuality, et al onto Helen.
April 25, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Another thing I wonder about Helen is if she wants to do other work. She has a degree, she’s fluent in French–she could teach, or work as an interpreter, or a lot of other government work. I’m sure she wants and needs to be close to home because she has young children, but teaching would give her flexibility, and probably a little more money and fulfillment than what she gets at the jewelry store. Unless she gets really good discounts…and commission. If she gets that, then … never mind
April 25, 2008 at 6:56 pm
I don’t think Helen made the wrong call in opting to avoid Betty, or even that she was in denial, but just that she isn’t immune to avoiding social awkwardness. When she did say something, there was in fact, all sorts of awkwardness.
April 25, 2008 at 7:12 pm
I admire Helen and respect her for living through all the Stepford-wife-bullshit she has to put up with everyday–but all the same, I think her judgement of Betty for giving Glen a lock of her hair was strangely premature. It’s even odder that she consulted with her ex-husband about what to do before even checking with Betty for her side of the story. It’s doubtful that Glen’s parents are even aware that their son is a golden-shower peeping Tom–maybe learning that might make Betty giving the lock of hair seem even weirder to them!
But for Betty’s part, I think the gift of her hair was pretty innocent. She is used to the idea of being adored for her beauty and probably never associated anything sexual with it. The fact that Helen and her husband would make that assumption shocks Betty into slapping Helen in the supermarket (which, by the way, I love for all its Stepford decor–I could stare at those rows of fruit forever).
April 25, 2008 at 7:31 pm
I think Betty both did and didn’t know it was sexual. As little-girl as Betty is, she’s also constantly horny and she longs to be looked at “that way.”
It was very hard to get a full-time, or even part-time sitter in those days, especially for an infant. Unless you could hire a grandmother type, you were screwed. And Helen doesn’t know the neighborhood (although I have to say, that part rings false; normally you keep the house and the husband moves out, or you can’t afford the house and you get an apartment—this is betwixt and between).
April 25, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Daddy’s army buddy was got her quite a deal. Either she stayed in the old house until they had to sell, or she was in an apartment until they finally settled, then back into a house.
The ‘infant’ is around two, as I recall.
April 25, 2008 at 10:04 pm
You know, it’s interesting that Matt Weiner was surprised when he found out people thought the whole exchange between Betty and Glenn was creepy.
I think during this time people thought far less about child molesting and teachers having sex with students, etc.
April 25, 2008 at 10:27 pm
The hair didn’t creep me out as much as the scene outside the therapist’s office. I felt sorry for Betty, but also felt she needed to stop burdening a child with her problems — and with keeping a secret.
April 26, 2008 at 7:43 am
I agree with Glass about Betty burdening Glenn.
I did find the hair thing creepy. Maybe by itself it would have been more innocent but this happened AFTER Glen tried to look at Betty when she was in the bathroom. That’s what gives the whole thing an especially sexual/creepy undertone. I also totally agree with Deb about Betty being both aware and unaware of the sexual overtones of the hair lock. She’s crossing all sorts of boundaries with that kid, even if he is a weird little boy. In the parking lot scene, he came off as a lot more vulnerable and endearing.
April 26, 2008 at 8:12 am
I don’t think Weiner said the hair thing wasn’t creepy, I think he said that he didn’t realize Glenn himself was creepy. Which he totally is.